








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
158 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 97 | 34% |
| Smokes | 31 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 99 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 59 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $38,667 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zhams_17 | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | jah | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | gord | 35% | 17 |
| #4 | arnold | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Yung Shelly | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jah | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | gord | 35% | 17 |
| #4 | arnold | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Yung Shelly | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | BPILLO | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gord | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Yung Shelly | 2 | 0.0323 |
| #3 | BPILLO | 1 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gord | 64 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | BPILLO | 10 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | zhams_17 | 10 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Yung Shelly | 9 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | jah | 2 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Shelly | +8.99 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | jah | +0.23 | 49 | 62 |
| #3 | gord | -0.49 | 48 | 51 |
| #4 | peach | -1.28 | 58 | 40 |
| #5 | BPILLO | -1.90 | 54 | 46 |





