








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 540 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4264 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4394 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3373 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 941 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $755,747 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XpLz | 60% | 48 |
| #2 | Ka'LM | 60% | 55 |
| #3 | 𝑲𝟒𝑰𝒁𝑬𝑫 | 58% | 118 |
| #4 | Lambda | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Azadel | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ka'LM | 60% | 55 |
| #3 | 𝑲𝟒𝑰𝒁𝑬𝑫 | 58% | 118 |
| #4 | Lambda | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Azadel | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | FrentiiK | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑲𝟒𝑰𝒁𝑬𝑫 | 16 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Ka'LM | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | XpLz | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | FrentiiK | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Lambda | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑲𝟒𝑰𝒁𝑬𝑫 | 747 | 0.33 | 15 min |
| #2 | Lambda | 182 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ka'LM | 170 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | FrentiiK | 141 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | XpLz | 114 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TX Magicien Sombre™ | +3.03 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | XpLz | +2.42 | 69 | 78 |
| #3 | Azadel | +0.31 | 62 | 58 |
| #4 | Ka'LM | -0.71 | 63 | 63 |
| #5 | 𝑲𝟒𝑰𝒁𝑬𝑫 | -1.15 | 65 | 57 |





