








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 533 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1850 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 858 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1020 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,823,621 of utility $268 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schizug | 50% | 28 |
| #2 | Snipers Third Leg | 39% | 54 |
| #3 | toad | 38% | 40 |
| #4 | lil mayo | 37% | 177 |
| #5 | mimikatz.exe | 37% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schizug | +3.08 | 68 | 28 |
| #2 | lil mayo | +3.01 | 83 | 48 |
| #3 | Snipers Third Leg | +1.03 | 53 | 49 |
| #4 | marvin prune | +0.35 | 37 | 71 |
| #5 | mimikatz.exe | -0.20 | 85 | 52 |





