








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 168 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,230 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 886 | 21% |
| Smokes | 930 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1636 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 778 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $882,890 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Office | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | OversizedHamster | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | NOOB | 45% | 99 |
| #4 | Derankservice :) | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | Impulls =D | 44% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Impulls =D | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Kofferbaklichtje | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Frogster | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Mr. Office | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | NOOB | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Impulls =D | 183 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Frogster | 115 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kofferbaklichtje | 36 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | NOOB | 32 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mr. Office | 17 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frogster | +3.31 | 87 | 42 |
| #2 | feziqx | +2.60 | 52 | 52 |
| #3 | Kofferbaklichtje | +2.21 | 52 | 31 |
| #4 | OversizedHamster | +1.73 | 60 | 26 |
| #5 | Impulls =D | -0.80 | 64 | 37 |





