








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2297 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2596 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1772 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 930 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1217 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,134,946 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iNEaRThSツ | 92% | 13 |
| #2 | ruexia | 83% | 24 |
| #3 | rotenburo | 79% | 28 |
| #4 | 플레이보이 | 76% | 25 |
| #5 | yuutonn | 74% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ SODA | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | kamily_ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | TarqS | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | StRCaT | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | アナミマス | 1 | 0.0015 |





