








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 376 | 22% |
| Smokes | 603 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 454 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 288 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,734 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ingo0 | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Hedan | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | MrShift | 54% | 46 |
| #4 | Re McTard | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | TRUTHMAKER | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Sarka | 43% | 7 |
| #11 | Mr Spacely | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | snapchat @bigdick | 40% | 5 |
| #13 | Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang | 31% | 13 |
| #14 | Bondlurk3n | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrShift | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Fraggess | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Bondlurk3n | 1 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Sarka | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrShift | 79 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Ingo0 | 57 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Re McTard | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | BigdoubleD | 52 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mr Spacely | 46 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wispensson | +2.73 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang | +2.24 | 63 | 71 |
| #3 | Mr Spacely | +2.17 | 76 | 76 |
| #4 | TRUTHMAKER | +1.89 | 65 | 63 |
| #5 | Bondlurk3n | +0.14 | 73 | 57 |





