








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5 | 1% |
| Smokes | 251 | 58% |
| HE Grenades | 84 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 91 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $144,449 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MarlPoro | | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | KarlPets | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Hugh Jass | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | dAvINSI | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | heix | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MarlPoro | | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | KarlPets | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Hugh Jass | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | dAvINSI | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | heix | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dAvINSI | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dAvINSI | 53 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | Hugh Jass | 27 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | heix | 19 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #4 | KarlPets | 18 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | MarlPoro | | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heix | +7.66 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | Hugh Jass | +6.88 | 86 | 65 |
| #3 | KarlPets | +3.57 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | MarlPoro | | -1.25 | 42 | 66 |
| #5 | UnableRookie | -1.83 | 42 | 18 |





