








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
446 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1535 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1547 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1356 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1567 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,136 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HongKong Supa Toxic Cop | 33% | 9 |
| #2 | Nanaka Producer | 33% | 15 |
| #3 | Jaws Gura | 31% | 45 |
| #4 | Shadow Mistress Yuko | 30% | 40 |
| #5 | Yuka | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaws Gura | 55 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Shadow Mistress Yuko | 40 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | a mimir | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Yuka | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Frots | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |





