








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 377 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3413 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4388 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4646 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4741 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $925,155 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr_m4nhattan | 55% | 99 |
| #2 | wowquinhas | 52% | 91 |
| #3 | Celoba | 51% | 158 |
| #4 | Cnt | 49% | 308 |
| #5 | vPimpão | 47% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Cnt | 49% | 308 |
| #5 | vPimpão | 47% | 103 |
| #6 | baitzera | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | 25Parallax | 45% | 82 |
| #8 | Kdu_ | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cnt | 44 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | dr_m4nhattan | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Celoba | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | vPimpão | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | 25Parallax | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cnt | 1259 | 0.19 | 33 min |
| #2 | vPimpão | 273 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | 25Parallax | 190 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | dr_m4nhattan | 122 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Celoba | 79 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vPimpão | +2.57 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | Dholan | +1.28 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | Celoba | +1.16 | 82 | 39 |
| #4 | dr_m4nhattan | +0.62 | 65 | 54 |
| #5 | baitzera | +0.03 | 58 | 45 |





