








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 986 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8465 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5372 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5108 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4058 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,736 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2922 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | S 1 m s t a f f | 42% | 149 |
| #5 | Revers | 38% | 39 |
| #6 | tL ✈ ♚ ^.^ | 37% | 27 |
| #7 | Ponas Dūmas 🤍 | 35% | 37 |
| #8 | s t a f f | 29% | 31 |





