








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 741 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2613 | 12% |
| Smokes | 7074 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5122 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7376 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,566,659 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doki | 28 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | WOLVERINE | 16 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | PALACE | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Indiana Jones | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | /// /// PR1MO ツ | 9 | 0.0041 |





