








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 829 | 30% |
| Smokes | 811 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 517 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 573 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $178,124 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magiskb0y | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Nyglif | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | η9pe (: | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | ✪ Del Guardiano | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | coachdp | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | η9pe (: | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | ✪ Del Guardiano | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | coachdp | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | TonZZeR | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | Tr4nto | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | η9pe (: | 73 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | coachdp | 26 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | magiskb0y | 22 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | ✪ Del Guardiano | 16 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Tr4nto | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coachdp | +2.42 | 73 | 71 |
| #2 | magiskb0y | +2.19 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | Fisherman | +1.23 | 85 | 68 |
| #4 | TonZZeR | -0.16 | 86 | 66 |
| #5 | ✪ Del Guardiano | -0.33 | 84 | 64 |





