








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 528 | 31% |
| Smokes | 576 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 219 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 364 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,962 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 586 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stalin's Grandson | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Nozza10 | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | 9inthem | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | Monkey_Too_Drippyy | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | diddysmash24 | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nozza10 | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | 9inthem | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | Monkey_Too_Drippyy | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | diddysmash24 | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | sheezking1980 | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nozza10 | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | 9inthem | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Monkey_Too_Drippyy | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | diddysmash24 | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diddysmash24 | 54 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #2 | Monkey_Too_Drippyy | 24 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | 9inthem | 18 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stalin's Grandson | 17 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | sheezking1980 | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stalin's Grandson | +4.87 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | Chris | +3.19 | 59 | 50 |
| #3 | Nozza10 | +0.65 | 33 | 17 |
| #4 | diddysmash24 | -1.56 | 9 | 58 |
| #5 | Monkey_Too_Drippyy | -2.10 | 28 | 34 |





