








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5912 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6771 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5398 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3435 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,187,391 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 765 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Theo | 188 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | losos | 154 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | tSp | 145 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | [HI]_Onyx | 107 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jaryn | 54 | 0.04 | 1 min |





