








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 835 | 25% |
| Smokes | 903 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 771 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 868 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $71,506 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Κεραυνός | 39% | 38 |
| #2 | CorneliusNubston | 37% | 35 |
| #3 | Niko_Valo | 32% | 34 |
| #4 | Yappy2032 | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Κεραυνός | 39% | 38 |
| #2 | CorneliusNubston | 37% | 35 |
| #3 | Niko_Valo | 32% | 34 |
| #4 | Yappy2032 | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CorneliusNubston | 6 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Κεραυνός | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Niko_Valo | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Yappy2032 | 2 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CorneliusNubston | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Yappy2032 | 55 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | Κεραυνός | 30 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Niko_Valo | 23 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alib234 | +3.23 | 24 | 63 |
| #2 | Κεραυνός | +0.67 | 27 | 38 |
| #3 | Yappy2032 | -4.53 | 27 | 23 |
| #4 | Niko_Valo | -4.89 | 4 | 29 |
| #5 | CorneliusNubston | -5.21 | 3 | 29 |





