








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4410 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4749 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5897 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6350 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,472,007 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Königskind | 40% | 52 |
| #10 | Magn3t | 40% | 115 |
| #11 | Criedl | 37% | 51 |
| #12 | nighty | 34% | 47 |
| #13 | Pratze86 | 27% | 44 |





