








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2834 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,719 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3991 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2792 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2499 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2437 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $700,071 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sway_Games | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | in10city | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | Adam | 47% | 66 |
| #4 | Breakfast | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | Life Moves | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shooter McGavin | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Adam | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Life Moves | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Sway_Games | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | kanti | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adam | 184 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Life Moves | 178 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #3 | in10city | 167 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #4 | Breakfast | 112 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Shooter McGavin | 103 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuddy | +1.19 | 54 | 61 |
| #2 | Life Moves | +0.39 | 73 | 68 |
| #3 | Adam | +0.17 | 44 | 65 |
| #4 | Breakfast | -0.15 | 71 | 50 |
| #5 | in10city | -0.56 | 70 | 52 |





