








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 542 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1010 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2192 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1383 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2513 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,837,444 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitter.com/Vertex1337 | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | K1ng♛Eddy | 54% | 89 |
| #3 | Obelisk the Tormentor | 49% | 171 |
| #4 | 7Lars7 | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | H1GHROLL3R | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 7Lars7 | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | H1GHROLL3R | 47% | 45 |
| #6 | Syr0x ツ | 45% | 102 |
| #7 | Hasslon | 38% | 39 |
| #8 | PokeZinX | 23% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K1ng♛Eddy | 15 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Obelisk the Tormentor | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Syr0x ツ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | 7Lars7 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | H1GHROLL3R | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K1ng♛Eddy | 311 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | Syr0x ツ | 250 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Obelisk the Tormentor | 207 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | 7Lars7 | 156 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | twitter.com/Vertex1337 | 122 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hasslon | +2.69 | 82 | 48 |
| #2 | Syr0x ツ | +2.65 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | twitter.com/Vertex1337 | +2.26 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | 7Lars7 | +1.36 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | PokeZinX | +0.90 | 67 | 57 |





