










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
324 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 265 | 38% |
| Smokes | 56 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 266 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 113 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,970 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaGunker | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | GaterAids | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | Justice Cow | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Jawz | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | MrGingerNips | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MrGingerNips | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | Busch Light Apple | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | _Azon | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | DannyBoy | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | Prickly P | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Justice Cow | 6 | 0.0306 |
| #2 | ThaGunker | 4 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | GaterAids | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Jawz | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | _Azon | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaterAids | 104 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Prickly P | 54 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | MrGingerNips | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jawz | 20 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | _Azon | 19 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrGingerNips | +4.84 | 66 | 66 |
| #2 | DannyBoy | +3.16 | 71 | 44 |
| #3 | Busch Light Apple | +2.70 | 72 | 39 |
| #4 | Jawz | +0.79 | 50 | 49 |
| #5 | ThaGunker | -0.17 | 44 | 14 |





