








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 176 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3874 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3354 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2078 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2819 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $422,789 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drace | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | Kayzen "DJ8" | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | Mind | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | 🌸Free | 53% | 135 |
| #5 | MPR | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 🌸Free | 53% | 135 |
| #5 | MPR | 50% | 40 |
| #6 | Dark | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | Kiko | 44% | 54 |
| #8 | 13* | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drace | 8 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Mind | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | 🌸Free | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Kayzen "DJ8" | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🌸Free | 390 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mind | 176 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kiko | 148 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | drace | 125 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kayzen "DJ8" | 95 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiko | +2.81 | 78 | 56 |
| #2 | 🌸Free | +2.67 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | Kayzen "DJ8" | +0.43 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | wabeiter | +0.10 | 63 | 70 |
| #5 | drace | -0.05 | 73 | 49 |





