








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 395 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6386 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6973 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5376 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 8216 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,867,568 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1478 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | simplybest | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | soulja79 x クラピカ | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | ʞnʇnɹouǝɹ | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | 785 | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | _daregor | 6 | 0.0034 |





