








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Esplay | 42 matches | 1,973 | |
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3854 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5334 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4900 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5163 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,772,875 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2303 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | braut | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | j r k s | 54% | 125 |
| #3 | the nizzler | 52% | 112 |
| #4 | Kaipatu | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Zip Zap | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | j r k s | 54% | 125 |
| #3 | the nizzler | 52% | 112 |
| #4 | Kaipatu | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Zip Zap | 48% | 44 |
| #6 | NeXT | 47% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j r k s | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | NeXT | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Kaipatu | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | the nizzler | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Zip Zap | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j r k s | 535 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | braut | 195 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | the nizzler | 189 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | NeXT | 142 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kaipatu | 109 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeXT | +1.68 | 81 | 38 |
| #2 | UnG3?p1113r | +0.75 | 63 | 61 |
| #3 | braut | +0.47 | 66 | 84 |
| #4 | the nizzler | +0.42 | 77 | 65 |
| #5 | j r k s | -0.55 | 42 | 61 |





