








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,673 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 549 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1212 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1228 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1684 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $413,750 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loisdurant7 | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | ϺΛSH | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Onizuka | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loisdurant7 | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | ϺΛSH | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Onizuka | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onizuka | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | loisdurant7 | 2 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ϺΛSH | 89 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Onizuka | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | loisdurant7 | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ϺΛSH | +7.04 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | Onizuka | +0.07 | 60 | 47 |
| #3 | Broliote | -0.39 | 63 | 48 |
| #4 | loisdurant7 | -3.14 | 37 | 30 |





