








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 220 matches | ||
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4177 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4169 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3378 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2848 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,720,260 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 386 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | selah | 70% | 61 |
| #2 | nate | 62% | 118 |
| #3 | matty | 60% | 113 |
| #4 | Diebel | 57% | 256 |
| #5 | Gosuburbs | 54% | 283 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diebel | 20 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Gosuburbs | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | matty | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | selah | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | nate | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gosuburbs | 1573 | 0.28 | 36 min |
| #2 | Diebel | 753 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #3 | nate | 545 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #4 | matty | 229 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | selah | 160 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matty | +3.91 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | b1gpersian | +2.94 | 86 | 54 |
| #3 | nate | +1.54 | 80 | 80 |
| #4 | selah | +1.21 | 85 | 68 |
| #5 | Diebel | -1.47 | 57 | 62 |





