










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 445 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 172 | 39% |
| Smokes | 116 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 63 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 94 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $21,700 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | torttu | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | Bovebobe | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | young TanGo+ | 30% | 10 |
| #6 | old jizzyJ+ | 22% | 9 |
| #7 | -.^ | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bovebobe | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | torttu | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | el pelko | 1 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | young TanGo+ | 39 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | old jizzyJ+ | 21 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | torttu | 19 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | el pelko | 17 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bovebobe | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |





