








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1802 | 63% |
| Smokes | 303 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 144 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 609 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,710 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Vac | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Garfield | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | dank | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | amaz3 | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Yee-Yee Ass Haircut | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bajs | 213 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | pablothedawg | 104 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | forisn | 92 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | alex | 54 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | forsenInsane | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skyfall | +8.21 | 74 | 56 |
| #2 | dank | +6.15 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | Señor Vac | +5.67 | 77 | 73 |
| #4 | alex | +4.92 | 73 | 43 |
| #5 | forisn | +4.36 | 83 | 72 |





