










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 697 | 22% |
| Smokes | 574 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 931 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 914 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $361,556 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DenV | 57% | 69 |
| #5 | Sherlock Homeless | 56% | 70 |
| #6 | Basketballersslayer | 54% | 35 |
| #7 | QQE | 52% | 42 |
| #8 | Riley | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sherlock Homeless | 22 | 0.0157 |
| #2 | QQE | 7 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Basketballersslayer | 6 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | DenV | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Riley | 3 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sherlock Homeless | 174 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | DenV | 103 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Basketballersslayer | 100 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Riley | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | QQE | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |





