








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1560 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1306 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1110 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 869 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,459,569 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3533 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | WoodrowtheFox | 55% | 51 |
| #4 | nully | 49% | 199 |
| #5 | Double | 47% | 19 |
| #6 | seum | 46% | 70 |
| #7 | Cozzi :3 | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nully | 1397 | 0.36 | 30 min |
| #2 | seum | 142 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Double | 96 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fussel | 94 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | WoodrowtheFox | 65 | 0.06 | 2 min |





