








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 659 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1110 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1504 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1084 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,209,008 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 355 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ogakodalane | 55% | 47 |
| #2 | Getu | 55% | 107 |
| #3 | kepivend_45 | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Earl™ | 51% | 41 |
| #5 | Zeon | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ogakodalane | 55% | 47 |
| #2 | Getu | 55% | 107 |
| #3 | kepivend_45 | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Earl™ | 51% | 41 |
| #5 | Zeon | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeon | 7 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Earl™ | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Getu | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Ogakodalane | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeon | 141 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ogakodalane | 60 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Earl™ | 54 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | kepivend_45 | 24 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Getu | 3 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kepivend_45 | +1.61 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | SUNBRO | +0.97 | 45 | 36 |
| #3 | Zeon | +0.10 | 57 | 55 |
| #4 | Earl™ | -0.34 | 36 | 44 |
| #5 | Ogakodalane | -0.56 | 24 | 49 |





