








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,271 | |
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 380 | 24% |
| Smokes | 575 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 203 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 403 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $715,390 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghost | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | ☲★BLACK•SABBATH★☲ | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Stretch | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | QQKEN > IS SMALL! | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | ☲★COMMANDO★☲ | 1 | 0.0008 |





