








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2969 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5356 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3108 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4891 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,317,330 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phamtastic | 76% | 49 |
| #2 | Hayasaka ai | 61% | 61 |
| #3 | pink cat punch | 56% | 247 |
| #4 | sushi Akuma | 55% | 67 |
| #5 | lliilll | 51% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | FILEX | 46% | 146 |
| #13 | Observer | 45% | 44 |
| #14 | FILEX_eXm | 44% | 25 |
| #15 | Gama | 32% | 47 |
| #16 | 小寶OuOb | 31% | 26 |





