








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 912 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 281 | 31% |
| Smokes | 246 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 142 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 243 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $68,148 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucky | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | doré est le nueve | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | M0nesy | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | XiMaa | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | lights | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | lights | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | Ex3rcice | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | AZIDOT | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | YouKnow | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | unshaark | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ex3rcice | 1 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | doré est le nueve | 1 | 0.0189 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unshaark | 24 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #2 | YouKnow | 19 | 0.34 | 0 min |
| #3 | AZIDOT | 18 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | M0nesy | 13 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #5 | doré est le nueve | 12 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doré est le nueve | +4.51 | 66 | 72 |
| #2 | Graviti | +3.73 | 90 | 71 |
| #3 | M0nesy | +2.90 | 94 | 67 |
| #4 | unshaark | +2.33 | 88 | 67 |
| #5 | XiMaa | -0.27 | 83 | 40 |





