








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 88 | 18% |
| Smokes | 150 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 124 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 117 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $105,439 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Changy | 58% | 12 |
| #8 | Big Potato | 56% | 9 |
| #9 | DyyLN | 46% | 13 |
| #10 | Yama | 44% | 9 |
| #11 | ImWoS | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yama | 2 | 0.0120 |





