










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 32 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 250 | 22% |
| Smokes | 393 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 227 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 275 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,204 of utility $256 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kossu | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | S3P1 | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | perunahillo | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | JumaL_3sE | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | Yang Pööched | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Yang Pööched | 35% | 17 |
| #6 | 70H70R1 | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Sihilisko💩 | 30% | 10 |
| #8 | BeiZi | 29% | 7 |
| #9 | HEHE=D | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JumaL_3sE | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JumaL_3sE | 48 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kossu | 38 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Sihilisko💩 | 37 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | S3P1 | 26 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Yang Pööched | 23 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sihilisko💩 | +1.62 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | Yang Pööched | +0.18 | 46 | 57 |
| #3 | 乇xz | +0.10 | 66 | 55 |
| #4 | 70H70R1 | -0.12 | 67 | 73 |
| #5 | JumaL_3sE | -0.22 | 81 | 66 |





