








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 803 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1841 | 41% |
| Smokes | 888 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1042 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 709 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $911,620 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SketchyMF | 47% | 103 |
| #2 | ♔ | 45% | 126 |
| #3 | ß ♔ | 43% | 147 |
| #4 | grub | 36% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SketchyMF | 47% | 103 |
| #2 | ♔ | 45% | 126 |
| #3 | ß ♔ | 43% | 147 |
| #4 | grub | 36% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♔ | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ß ♔ | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | SketchyMF | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ß ♔ | 243 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | SketchyMF | 131 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | grub | 129 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | ♔ | 46 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grub | +0.94 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | ♿GEX♿ | +0.60 | 55 | 51 |
| #3 | ß ♔ | -0.55 | 66 | 34 |
| #4 | ♔ | -0.64 | 56 | 27 |
| #5 | SketchyMF | -1.43 | 42 | 44 |





