








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1030 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 118 matches | 1,949 | |
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1234 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1620 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1221 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 942 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,155 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 52% | 33 | ||
| 46% | 13 | ||
| 43% | 14 | ||
| #4 | ♿ | 40% | 40 |
| 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 52% | 33 | ||
| 46% | 13 | ||
| 43% | 14 | ||
| #4 | ♿ | 40% | 40 |
| 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ | 2 | 0.0023 |
| 2 | 0.0027 | ||
| 2 | 0.0066 | ||
| 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 140 | 0.19 | 3 min | ||
| #2 | ♿ | 111 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| 72 | 0.26 | 2 min | ||
| 43 | 0.14 | 1 min | ||
| 32 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ß. | +2.72 | 85 | 66 |
| +1.40 | 51 | 62 | ||
| +0.17 | 45 | 61 | ||
| -0.78 | 31 | 58 | ||
| -2.60 | 52 | 44 |





