










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 347 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,462 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1803 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2419 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2767 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1473 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,050,403 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | LiamC007 | 51% | 39 |
| #6 | Scrubz | 49% | 79 |
| #7 | Toffie | 48% | 63 |
| #8 | ✠ Joburg ⌖ | 44% | 36 |
| #9 | GriefSociety | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toffie | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Sven ✘ | 5 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | VAC’nificent Bastard | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | LiamC007 | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | GriefSociety | 4 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✠ Joburg ⌖ | 195 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #2 | Toffie | 146 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | VAC’nificent Bastard | 107 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Galaxy | 102 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | LiamC007 | 85 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Galaxy | +2.84 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | Sven ✘ | +1.82 | 90 | 55 |
| #3 | Toffie | +1.64 | 72 | 51 |
| #4 | Louis | +1.46 | 51 | 49 |
| #5 | GriefSociety | +0.76 | 61 | 65 |





