








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4980 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3124 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3352 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3086 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,706 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Get_ | 76% | 33 |
| #2 | CheeseKoek | 73% | 73 |
| #3 | F/s | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | Rage | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | MeisieKoek | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Get_ | 76% | 33 |
| #2 | CheeseKoek | 73% | 73 |
| #3 | F/s | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | Rage | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | MeisieKoek | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheeseKoek | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | MeisieKoek | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Get_ | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Rage | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheeseKoek | 235 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Get_ | 181 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #3 | Rage | 96 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | F/s | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | MeisieKoek | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Get_ | +8.03 | 86 | 79 |
| #2 | CheeseKoek | +4.81 | 68 | 73 |
| #3 | Rage | +2.97 | 56 | 63 |
| #4 | F/s | +2.09 | 85 | 50 |
| #5 | PsyRabbit | +0.19 | 63 | 72 |





