








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 514 | 18% |
| Smokes | 551 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 936 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 794 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $333,179 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Windoor | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | strandy | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | Timothy Addams (Poor Gambler) | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | milf300 | 42% | 53 |
| #5 | LeonRagn | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Theodor | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | milf300 | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | LeonRagn | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Windoor | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | твоя мама- BОфф BОф | 3 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Theodor | 184 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Windoor | 133 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | mikkemussnushus | 128 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Timothy Addams (Poor Gambler) | 60 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | твоя мама- BОфф BОф | 45 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Theodor | +2.61 | 68 | 70 |
| #2 | Timothy Addams (Poor Gambler) | +1.91 | 50 | 53 |
| #3 | Windoor | +1.70 | 59 | 73 |
| #4 | milf300 | -0.13 | 59 | 44 |
| #5 | strandy | -0.38 | 39 | 33 |





