








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 544 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 847 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8703 | 26% |
| Smokes | 9324 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8627 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7359 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,549,998 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 506 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gluzz | 51% | 61 |
| #2 | Cannabissu 420 | 50% | 58 |
| #3 | Gruuv | 49% | 150 |
| #4 | NIBULIK | 48% | 184 |
| #5 | Sander | 47% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gruuv | +1.75 | 72 | 74 |
| #2 | Sander | +1.42 | 88 | 48 |
| #3 | Cannabissu 420 | +0.41 | 68 | 57 |
| #4 | LuF | +0.27 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | Gluzz | +0.08 | 78 | 71 |





