








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




201 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4807 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3308 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2447 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2124 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,735,651 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21570 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ian | 59% | 108 |
| #2 | |3urd-|3rane | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | Mr. Tas | 57% | 53 |
| #4 | [5%]J.G. Wentworth | 56% | 81 |
| #5 | Phlogiston | 50% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HinPead | +3.89 | 80 | 28 |
| #2 | goon theft auto | +2.58 | 80 | 41 |
| #3 | Mr. Tas | +2.57 | 86 | 29 |
| #4 | Ian | +2.28 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | Walter | +1.32 | 69 | 32 |





