








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 642 | 28% |
| Smokes | 397 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 774 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 492 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $182,277 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zarko | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | zigi wudzia pyk pyk | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Horse gaming | 51% | 59 |
| #4 | cryshack | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | you light my fire | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | cryshack | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | you light my fire | 47% | 19 |
| #6 | marek jujitsu | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | Fagatkaaa | 42% | 24 |
| #8 | aviaHanzo Pizdabol | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cryshack | 11 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Horse gaming | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Fagatkaaa | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | you light my fire | 4 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | Zarko | 4 | 0.0209 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | you light my fire | 83 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Zarko | 30 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | cryshack | 26 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Fagatkaaa | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Horse gaming | 24 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fiziu | +4.00 | 77 | 46 |
| #2 | Horse gaming | +1.57 | 61 | 30 |
| #3 | Zarko | +1.24 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | cryshack | -1.41 | 59 | 34 |
| #5 | marek jujitsu | -1.89 | 61 | 55 |





