








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 335 | 22% |
| Smokes | 318 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 508 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 349 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,013 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reasonable Idiot | 41% | 44 |
| #2 | Joshooa | 40% | 35 |
| #3 | Velcro™ | 37% | 43 |
| #4 | Chaos | 37% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reasonable Idiot | 41% | 44 |
| #2 | Joshooa | 40% | 35 |
| #3 | Velcro™ | 37% | 43 |
| #4 | Chaos | 37% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reasonable Idiot | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Joshooa | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Velcro™ | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Chaos | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reasonable Idiot | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Joshooa | 24 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Chaos | 20 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Velcro™ | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMilk | +1.49 | 42 | 45 |
| #2 | Chaos | +0.09 | 31 | 26 |
| #3 | Joshooa | -0.90 | 36 | 51 |
| #4 | Velcro™ | -3.09 | 15 | 10 |
| #5 | Reasonable Idiot | -3.74 | 7 | 34 |





