










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
51 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 73 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1 | 1% |
| Smokes | 2 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 49 | 67% |
| Molotovs | 21 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $17,400 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FortuneFaded | 20% | 5 |
| #2 | SassyTheSasquatch❤ | 20% | 5 |
| #3 | Ramdolf the Colourful | 20% | 5 |
| #4 | Dovahking | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FortuneFaded | 20% | 5 |
| #2 | SassyTheSasquatch❤ | 20% | 5 |
| #3 | Ramdolf the Colourful | 20% | 5 |
| #4 | Dovahking | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ramdolf the Colourful | 1 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ramdolf the Colourful | 10 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #2 | SassyTheSasquatch❤ | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | FortuneFaded | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ramdolf the Colourful | +1.02 | 78 | 36 |
| #2 | FortuneFaded | +0.11 | 73 | 60 |
| #3 | Dovahking | -0.38 | 33 | 70 |
| #4 | SassyTheSasquatch❤ | -1.70 | 57 | 43 |
| #5 | ʎʞuɐH™ | -1.75 | 49 | 14 |





