








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1050 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3628 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4026 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3885 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3662 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,002,918 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 392 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spinner | 49% | 167 |
| #2 | Vocqal | 48% | 67 |
| #3 | jet engine grinder | 45% | 95 |
| #4 | KingSamuraiL882 | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spinner | 49% | 167 |
| #2 | Vocqal | 48% | 67 |
| #3 | jet engine grinder | 45% | 95 |
| #4 | KingSamuraiL882 | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spinner | 21 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | jet engine grinder | 13 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Vocqal | 12 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | KingSamuraiL882 | 4 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jet engine grinder | 351 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Spinner | 238 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Vocqal | 223 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | KingSamuraiL882 | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sergeant Doakes - Beamed 250m | +1.54 | 68 | 47 |
| #2 | jet engine grinder | +0.17 | 54 | 48 |
| #3 | Spinner | -0.81 | 65 | 50 |
| #4 | Vocqal | -2.66 | 38 | 38 |
| #5 | KingSamuraiL882 | -4.50 | 23 | 32 |





