








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 340 | 33% |
| Smokes | 264 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 242 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 169 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $17,031 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ludwig Van Welfare | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | DJ_Southpole | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Taint | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | oMayhems | 82% | 17 |
| #5 | StHu "CS.MONEY" | 79% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StHu "CS.MONEY" | 4 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | StyleZ | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | oMayhems | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oMayhems | 65 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | StHu "CS.MONEY" | 49 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | StyleZ | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Doom | 33 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ludwig Van Welfare | 12 | 0.27 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALJEET | +6.58 | 89 | 66 |
| #2 | StHu "CS.MONEY" | +1.49 | 81 | 39 |
| #3 | Doom | +1.21 | 73 | 52 |
| #4 | oMayhems | -0.14 | 72 | 60 |
| #5 | Ludwig Van Welfare | -1.12 | 52 | 49 |





