








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 568 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 219 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
26703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 62,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17272 | 28% |
| Smokes | 18868 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 15190 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 10834 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,640,222 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1440 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JDM97 | 85 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | pxzxzu | 35 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Samir | 34 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | SlyGuy | 31 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | ejj7 | 21 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxzxzu | 2686 | 0.15 | 59 min |
| #2 | JDM97 | 959 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #3 | SlyGuy | 870 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #4 | Ptoughneigh | 561 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #5 | Samir | 364 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | br0z | +9.32 | 90 | 70 |
| #2 | JDM97 | +1.07 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | Samir | +0.53 | 81 | 51 |
| #4 | SlyGuy | -0.29 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | YaMumNz | -1.51 | 39 | 44 |





