








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 823 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2311 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2148 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1580 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,354 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parge Lenis | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | StrammeOstMulle | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | ɠєг๓คภ кเllєг © | 51% | 152 |
| #4 | LI35 | 50% | 123 |
| #5 | actiontyp | 49% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɠєг๓คภ кเllєг © | 13 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | LI35 | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Death | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | actiontyp | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Parge Lenis | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | actiontyp | 287 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | LI35 | 151 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | ɠєг๓คภ кเllєг © | 120 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Death | 75 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | StrammeOstMulle | 61 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StrammeOstMulle | +4.84 | 75 | 82 |
| #2 | LI35 | +2.31 | 60 | 55 |
| #3 | Ne®o™ | +1.61 | 72 | 75 |
| #4 | 爪卂乂乇乃乇几 | +0.84 | 79 | 41 |
| #5 | Da Gago | +0.69 | 26 | 48 |





