








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 517 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 554 | 7% |
| Smokes | 815 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 3319 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 2975 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,503,549 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | jOE | 53% | 59 |
| #5 | NEGEV | 51% | 161 |
| #6 | CrazyHours | 51% | 332 |
| #7 | Lokey | 46% | 179 |
| #8 | Plugjns® | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrazyHours | 26 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Lokey | 21 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Plugjns® | 13 | 0.0135 |
| #4 | NEGEV | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | jOE | 9 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrazyHours | 902 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | NEGEV | 392 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | opie | 342 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | jOE | 108 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cheeze | 97 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | opie | +3.14 | 48 | 61 |
| #2 | Cheeze | +1.01 | 38 | 40 |
| #3 | zethose3 | +0.35 | 45 | 22 |
| #4 | CrazyHours | +0.27 | 49 | 57 |
| #5 | NEGEV | -0.34 | 48 | 50 |





