










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 85 | 11% |
| Smokes | 181 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 363 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 141 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,028 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Newwer | 36% | 14 |
| #2 | Plebo | 31% | 32 |
| #3 | Kovacan | 18% | 11 |
| #4 | SATWA 水の方が良い | 15% | 13 |
| #5 | Truck on CRACK | 0% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Newwer | 36% | 14 |
| #2 | Plebo | 31% | 32 |
| #3 | Kovacan | 18% | 11 |
| #4 | SATWA 水の方が良い | 15% | 13 |
| #5 | Truck on CRACK | 0% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plebo | 7 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Newwer | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | SATWA 水の方が良い | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Kovacan | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plebo | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Newwer | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kovacan | 22 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | SATWA 水の方が良い | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| #5 | Truck on CRACK | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Newwer | +1.57 | 82 | 52 |
| #2 | Kovacan | -0.47 | 52 | 61 |
| #3 | Plebo | -0.86 | 39 | 62 |
| #4 | SATWA 水の方が良い | -1.19 | 34 | 15 |
| #5 | WarnoX__X | -2.15 | 21 | 28 |





